Reunion Man living in Korea

Jeudi 10 avril 2008

Argent Facile: FOREX!!!!

Hi dear:

   first of all, the title is a fake!!!!! of course there is no such way to easily make money and you should know that !!!

  I recently (since february) started a new game: FOREX, or FOReign EXchange market. It's one of the most liquid market in the world, and very easily accessible to people now. People investing in stocks now turn their back towards this new market because of its HUge power.

I will not give a course about forex since i am just a rooky in the field, but i surely have a 1000X bigger experience now than when i first started.

Indeed, my first start were pretty much.... painful in many ways. I started to play with virtual money and i was sort of validating a method of trading, which seems to work (but of course it wasnt yet well determined) so i got myself into the real game: investing my money.

for starter, i set in my mind that if i had to gamble, i would probably do it in a clever way. For Gambling (wow that sounds to me like pretty dumb now cause tradding should not be gambling but ... anyway), i needed some extra money,which if lost, would not make me cry : "i lost the only way to pay my bills!!!!". No i didnt do that mistake, i took a sufficient extra money from a work i had done in japan (hohohohoh) earnedin one month...~2000$.

   First week of trading.... yayayayayayya i win in average 20 to 30$ a day... sounds great. I didnt explain how (you should get to understand the forex first : www.babypips.com/school/ ), but i thought ok now what if i tried to leverage that by 10. So it worked once..... and after that the BIGBANG!!!

   The euros is in a very crazy situation right now and i bet that something would happen in my favor but didnt, the euro killed me and took away half of my account ... gosh!!!!

   I was young, too young! I didnt know how to manage my money and my technique was .. really like gambling, after not getting lucky you realize it.

   Trading is now more, it's statistics and method. It's also management and knowledge of the market.

   I just want to say to my parents~!!! don't worry now im working well with that thing!!!! it's getting really interesting and really ... whealthy!!!

   I don't play everyday, but now i do each in average a 150$ a week (more or less or course) and i really hope to because good enough to invest at a different level. Again i will be doing that on my own, it's risky to invest money always, this is why im tryng to have ambition as much as not too much dumbness.

    Anyway, if any of you are interested ~~~~~ it became almost an addiction ^^.

Cheers~

Par Charles - Publié dans : Recherche et Plaisir
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Jeudi 27 mars 2008

J'ai mon nom dans le journal~

Dear all.

   just to say by the way that in the last friday edition of the Jungang ilbo (the second major journal of Korea) my name appeared in an article dedicated to student having the IITA scholarship. This scholarship is only for foreigners and is considered as an award ( i just explain i don't parade now) and my professor answered to an interview about it, and because i guess of the mood of the article, had to send me flowers by tons.

   But it's quite nice to have nice comments about me in a big journal, it feels good somehow, not that good but somehow~

   anyway, below is the scan of the paper, i don't expect you to understand~~ (in red is the paragraph and my name in korean~ heheheheheh)

charles

Par Charles
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Vendredi 21 mars 2008

What do you mean nothing's happening ?

Hi dear readers~

Sincere apology for the silent, well i guess by now you are getting used to it. I suppose that if you have subscribed to the newsletter, this inconvinient would not be one (if you also do subscribe to the newsletter you will help me increase to the higher level of this blog giving me more option for the design of my blog: i've been for so long at rank: confiance TT TT)

Alright so now for the news:

By the way, i'm thinking of turning this blog in a more music oriented place, featuring my band, since we start to have quite few song to show to the world ^^.

BIG NEWS~:

I Bought a new guitar~!!!! ALright who really cares? Well those who knows that buying a new toy (especially if you use it for your passion) it's like reunderstanding the christmas present effect, by the way most of the time this effect is not felt at christmas (rather during childhood only).

I had a Takamine (electro-accoustic limited series), a Danelectro and now: Les Paul Grass Root CL.

For those who knows, it's getting a little higher now, since the sounds starts to be like a real guitar one ^^, but i still focused on the style buy the rare version in WHITE ^^ here is a picture~:

I already love it, now, i might have to think about selling my dan (oh my god noooooooooooo) but let's think more about it ~

BIG NEWS:

Somehow, we could have think several time about the end and failures of my band: to sum up quickly, we had to face the employed status of some memebers, the start of new business for some, and intensive reseerch (including travelling) for me. I also have to mention that the production company we almost signed with (oufffffff), did bankrupt last month... wait a second ... no it's not the end!!!

Well Bobbygrovy is proud to annouce that our second single if appearing in a CD compilation, and can be bought at a chain of coffee shops (TOMnTOMs) for only 8 euros~~~ Alright, i agree this is not much but, nevertheless, this is the second time our song figure on a CD compilation (first time was for the university song contest) and now we even get some money out of it (alright again this is like ~~ 0$ if rounded to the lower integer). Another good point is that our song was accepted at the deadline without interview cause apparently the staff making the CD really liked our song (yes i said we are proud so let's be praising!)

Alright, some will notice that we are the first on the list !!! (double Yay!) well not sure it has a specific meaning but for sure people buy the cd will hear it first!

OK time to go back to work... give me your comments~ (note: if you wanna hear the song we submitted for this CD go to http://bobbygrovy.giveu.net the mp3 player will return the someone to help (studio version) )

ANy question?

Best,

Charles

Par Charles
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Mardi 19 février 2008

Growing love part2

Hey:

    Alright, our dear Dempo gave me some homework from my last post, so i'll try to consider those points in their essence.

     Yes, of course i'm confused about the growing love, i might have felt it without realizing it before, but from my two last relationships (both last more than 4 years) i also learned something else. Of course, i think it's also fair that considering ones personnality, the growing love can't be conceived and respected the same way, but so far i didn't see much difference in our point of view so let's carry on.

1. what makes love grow:
    Again speaking from inside, my love does grow for several reasons. At first, because i have the same sensation of becoming a better and more caring person, especially i could understand the person i love and not only cherish her for all the good i see in her. I also grow for the same importance that my lover gives me; i know it's a bit conditional but we never escape from that. Conditional but getter also stronger aside, then i would say growing independently and dependently on my lover, that's a complicity that make the love growing.

2. Nature or nurture:
   I don't even want to conceive unnatural process in feeling. We all know the expression about forcing the nature out. Well for studying psychology more and more, i realize how true it is. we can't escape to our real nature, it always speak for itself. The only difference is to understand what is our real nature (thus the last post) and being proud of it (good and bad) cause we are what we are. Loving someone who understand that and understanding the other mistakes is the only efforts i see in a growing love relationship. other attempts to force speed and depth would be damaging. Growing love comes to us as much as we relax in our state, this is pure physics ^^. Nature is made for that.

3. Monitoring:

    Should we do it, like you said i'm not really sure about it until i ask myself, what for ? Do i need to compare it to something ? My previous loves maybe ?
    Personnaly i don't give my trust that easily any more, i do need to make sure of someone sincerity (and i have developped serious way to assess it in my life). Monitoring the love is important to me cause it let me know how far im letting myself feel secure about someone, about my lover, trust....
    Right, i certainly have issue with myself and trust so i need to monitor, and i think it's still a sane activity, im not obsessed about it. But for a first time, it's fair to watch it grow.

Let's grow love~

Par Charles - Publié dans : Recherche et Plaisir
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Mardi 12 février 2008

Becoming someone

Hey dear:

    I'm still on these thoughts, as you already know the growing love subject is not a usual one for me, thus important to understand.

    I know got something new in my mind. In the growing love, both want the other to be the person that we really need. However, it not as easy as in the passionate love, where everything is given almost freely and instantly, because the love is so strong and surrounding that we want to dont even see the problems (but they would rise up i fyou never had to think about it). See, i think that's an important point. To know who the other needs, you can just fake yourelf into something idealic, that would be the perfect lovemate for the other. No, but you have to understand the limit you can reach to be and stay that person. The same way, you should not expect the other to give you a free: "you're the best man of my life, my biggest love." It would be so unfair and too misjudging, and with time you might painfully realize that.

     Growing love, is accepting who we are, and who the other is, but also understand that being yourself is important, as much as doing more than what you usually do, within limits that you can accept at a longterm. Cause we are not talking short now, now we want to make it work, it's a tough road for the real and unique sake of true love, true for the trueself, love for the understanding and appreciation (quite weak word i know) that we share.

      I guess this is what i lacked (and i dont assume that i am right in the affirmation of the previous paragraphs), i lacked truth, sincerity, i didnt lack generosity but i wasnt fair to myself, thus to the other. I need to balance that, learn how to be my self but grow to give what my lover needs, the man that she can trust and love.

Best,
Charles

Par Charles
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Dimanche 10 février 2008

Best kiss Awards:

I almost don't want to comment that, but when you got a moment like that you're happy ^^.

cheers Charles

Par Charles - Publié dans : Recherche et Plaisir
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Dimanche 3 février 2008

Growing the love, but before grow yourself up!

Hello:

In order to give something else to read to those who felt bored after reading the first few line of the previous post => i post this one: Grow love is probably one of the best way to deal with love, but as i discover it, i also feel that to do that you need to be quite grown up yourself!

Thanks to Dempo for his comments, it's sincere so very helpful. It reminds me that i also feel this way nowadays. Growing love that really takes me by the hand and tells me: 'let's go higher', le'ts feel it naturally. I couldn't not feel that way before cause i was too passionate and consequently too blind to unfold the truth.

Small paragraph about the "truth i am talking about": what i mean here, it's the true self. How much do you know about the other and how much the other knows about you. Not the prejudices that sometimes appears because your routines made you look like you are not an evolving person. People always have something deep inside and you can't see it all, even though we pretty much have the same things there, whether we show it or not it's revealing the truth and the trust, that's where the love and the pain starts, so if you're ready for love, you also know you are ready to suffer somehow.

I needed to understand how much i need to be myself if i want to love someone truly and let it grow. And of course i also need that same person (that i love) to be as true and understanding myself. To feel that love, i also need the complicity, and sometimes the compromise (but not always). People don't need to stick together doing always the same thing it's important to have your own life and evenmore to have someone that get that, and love you enough to say: "do what you really wanna do", "find out your dream and go get it, ill be there for you, with you". I need someone like that and i wanna be someone like that.

Not saying that i grew up, but yes i did to some senses. I think that because i understood that i can go higher, deeper, stronger and i can also take my time. I can also fear like Dempo said to have the opposite feelings, the fights, but having a true person in front of me i dont fear to be fooled, i can trust and that can solve pretty much everything.

The only fear i have is how often and how strong life will fight back to stop me from succeeding? Cause i can't say that my mind is strictly made up. I have my ups and downs, my depressing, existantial moments, but we always get through them. Those moments are needed, it's like a mutation. Without no mutation (remise en question, shaking moment in your existence) you can't take a step back, and look at your life from far. You need to pull out you nose from the small details and see why you are doing this, sometimes. So being shaky, ok ill bear that, i will use that a much as i can. But life's obstacles? Well as long as i am working in team, in a couple, in a grown couple, with "love" (alright now sounds pretty much ansolute, almost godness), i believe that i can do it, that i want and need to do it.

Cheers

Charles

Par Charles - Publié dans : kskusanagi
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Dimanche 3 février 2008

Future et tremblement

Hello:

Pour cette fois j'ai bien envie de m'exprimer en francais, je sais pas pourquoi (du coup je m'excuse sans qu'ils puissent comprendre a ceux qui ne parlent pas francais; mais aussi pour ceux qui comprennent pour mes fautes d'orthographe) mais bon voila! (ca veut rien dire du coup jusque la).

Je suis un peu pris au piege ici. Tokyo, Wakoshi, RIKEN, un institut de recherche assez cote mais plus retranche du monde que ce que je pensais. Je me suis fixe pas mal d'objectifs pour cette collaboration de recherche, et vu que je n'ai rien d'autre a faire, je pense pouvoir etre en mesure de tout faire. Quoique le seul probleme c'est qu'il n'y a vraiment rien d'autre a faire. Je trouve pas ca forcement tres stimulant de faire mes 15h par jours tous les jours de la semaines (oui je le fais vraiment) avec personne a qui parle (en fait quelque personnes mais ca va etre relativement eparse) et rien comme loisir et detente.

J'ai assaye de rencontrer des amis sur tokyo, ca marche mais trop ephemere. J'ai essaye la tele, mais rien a faire les seuls films qui passent sont surement deja finis quand moi je rentre, et puis j'ai aussi une chance sur trois de l'avoir en anglais (sinon c'est doublage japonais).

Lost in translation, c'est presque ca, sauf que je peux difficilement me laisser porter par le pays maintenant, je trouve qu'il est tellement carre, froid et sans ame humaine (pas assez a mon gout). Enfin, ca reste bien le japon, mais faut pas faire comme moi passer les trois quarts du temps a tokyo). Des qu'une occasion se presentera je vais essayer moi aussi de m'evader.

Du coup retranche dans ma forteresse de recherche, et avec tout le temps libre que j'ai, plus le peu d'interaction humaine, je me sens un peu l'ame de Rob. Crusoe. Finalement, je me retrouve avec moi meme et toutes mes questions sur mon futur, mes ambitions, mes objectifs, mes passions, et puis qu'est ce que je veux vraiment faire apres tout. CUpidite, oui une de mes grandes faiblesses, je veux faire tellement de choses, je suis sur que c'est possible dans une vie, en tout ca je vais faire en sorte que cela le soit dans la mienne (ben wai pourquoi faire des generalites ^^).

Et retranche avec moi meme, on se rend compte aussi que le temps passe, on fait un peu le bilan de sa vie (genre le mec en prison quand meme) et je vois ce que j'ai pu faire (de bien ou comme conneries) et maintenant, l'une des choses les plus importantes c'est qui j'ai rencontre sur ma route et qui je peux garder a mes cotes. Sans cite de nom, en general ils (elles) se reconnaitront, j'ai pu rencontrer et redecouvrir des gens importants dans ma vie. Ils ne sont pas tres nombreux mais ils comptent vraiment, que se soit la distance physique ou la distance culturelle, je pense qu'ils ont marques quelque chose d'important en moi. Une lecon ou une demonstration d'amour qui donne envie d'avance de faire quelquechose de mieux, toujours aller plus loin.

Et puis il y a la question, maintenant que j'ai mes amis (vrais) et des objectifs dans la vie, je n'ai plus trop besoin d'avoir peur de m'engager, de prendre plus de risque, je dois suivre les indicateurs de ma vie, et bientot se trouve un pivot, un moment ou je dois faire un pas. C'est pour bientot j'ai l'impression.

Ce post commence a etre vraiment long et desorde (dans un certain sens, puisqu'il ne se resume pas vraiment mais se dirige quelquepart). Je continue donc. On m'a en d'une certaine facon predit beaucoup de choses pour cette annee 2008, j'aile choix d'y croire ou pas, mais ces derniers temps j'ai eu cette etrange sensation de pouvoir sentir ce qu'il y a de positifs ou negatif a attendre de mon futur proche et maintenant mon sentiment est que ma sensation se rapproche de ce qu'on m'avait dit.

J'ai enormement de projets en route et certain doivent tres bientot se mettre en route de facon plus intense (je comptes par exemple faire des investissement financiers assez risque) et avec tout ce que j'ai appris je pense etre capable de les mener a bien. Je dois me preparer a etre de plus en plus responsable et attentif, moins de passivite, a cause surtout de mes prises de risques. Et si je passe cette etape je pourrai m'ouvrir d'autre porte (pour le moment inconnue). Je dois me lancer, et je pense que j'ai choisit ma direction, maintenant il me faut le culot de le faire... donc des que je reviens en coree.

J'ai du deja lache tous mes lecteurs a ce point (je continue quand meme ca me defoule). J'ai plusieurs nouvelles envies, que je ne vais pas concretiser maintenant mais j'y pense de plus en plus ca doit etre l'age ^^ (j'ai presque passe mon quart de siecle).

- Utiliser mon argent differement

- Monter une entreprise

- Concretiser ma passion musicale

- me marrier.

Alors #2 et #4 on surement attirer plus l'attention... (^^) J'y pense de plus en plus et vraiment envie de le faire. #4: faut le dire je pense avoir trouver quelqu'un avec qui j'aimerai passe ma vie (en meme temps ca fait pas si longtemps que je la connais) et il y a quelque chose de special, different, mais je vais laisser ca murrir un peu plus. #2: une fois que #1 sera en route avec un certain succes, j'espere pouvoir entreprendre quelque chose de plus important, utiliser ma specialite; Je suis pas contre l'idee de travailler pour quelqu'un, c'est surtout que je suis fatigue de voir que els choses n'avancent pas (surtout en france) et j'aimerai appliquer mes idees plus concretement. Alors je me fixe de concretiser mes idees en noir et blanc et commencer a me faire un trou dans le domaine Biomedical (francais surtout mais autre aussi) et puis me lancer dans pas trop trop longtemps (2 ou 3 ans).

#4 j'ai un peu plus a dire sur ce sujet mais en fait j'aimerai vous demander, (ca depend de l'age biensur mais en meme temps je comptes surtout sur twin et mes parents pour repondre ahahhaha). qu'est ce que vous en pensez? Enfin voila je continuerai la dessus un peu plus tard.

Merci d'avoir pris le temps de lire (un peu chaotique mais ca me detend ^^: visualisez mon isolation!)

Charles

Par Charles - Publié dans : kskusanagi
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Mercredi 30 janvier 2008

Short Journey In Tok

Hey dear and dear:

As some of you already know, i have been invited for a research collaboration in Tokyo RIKEN Brain Science Institute. Wow for once i could get paid twice to research as a Visiting Technician yay, the paradise of researchers:

- Data: yeah i said researcher's paradise!

- Experience: i happen to meet a new friend researcher there (from france) and he is really good, motivated and interesting person, so we might have a lot of things to exchange in terms of knowlledge and projects.

- Money: being invited here i got everything paid so it's really good. Well the campus is not really inside of the hot tokyo but not that far actually. And well just staying one month id better focus on the work, meanwhile ill save more money ^^. For those who know Tokyo the night life is quite expensive, and if you ar enot careful you can easily spend a 100 euros in one night even drinking only beers so watch out!

Since i have this short (but not that short) separation from my real work and my real interest (Love, Music and Friends) i also decided to take care of my body, which has been quite .... dunno, not that good looking wheni think about my new plan:

Based on exercises that you can find at http://crossfit.com, i started a strict 1hour exercise (at least) perday, 5 days a week, with a parallel diet (not too strict but limited to ~2000kcal not sure at that moment). Drinking more water and so, since i also stopped smoking i think that it's possible to do it properly now.

I hope my babe will enjoy that after ^^. Samm pictures of me showing off my whatever, no i didnt slim down yet the photo might not reflect my real size yet! ( im much bigger than that for real)

Cheers!

Charles

Par Charles - Publié dans : kskusanagi
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Jeudi 17 janvier 2008

how and why

Hi hi:

I told you i would come back on that subject (L).

So now the question is pretty much how do we love and actually why ? I thought a bit about it and of course i forgot most of the important point so now i should try to retrieve the consistence of it ^^, let's see....

   Can we say that we love for no reason ? Not sure, i don't really work this way. We all need to be represented by a value and when this value is recognized we often feel love. Your lover shall not say that you are not good enough in doing something otherwise you would feel crappy and not worthy to that person don't you think, and of course we jump on conclusion: she (he) doesn't love me enough. Ok this sounds pretty practical and maybe isolated. I actually feel very much affected by that.

   Giving my self a value and understanding help me to love me better, seems that the reason people don't like themselves is because they neglect those points. They often think that finding someone who love them might fill out the missing blanks. It's quite stereotypical to hear, without you i am nothing but we don't hear "cause you give me all the value i need to feel love and to love my self, but we can hear more beautifully said " you give me a reason to live" (i think i just understood one thing right now, not all of course).

   We also chose people for their value and the value they potentially bring us, don't you think. Alright i am breaking the romanticism here but it's a basic idea. It's pretty much like a trade. Absolute love can exist ? I guess yes but like every good thing it is too rare to be hoped. You want someone to love you just to love you ? (not sure it means something actually in itself) alright so one person might love you for who you are, actually for things that are intrisic in you (won't change much over your life, actually that same person could hate you for the same reason). So someone loves me for who i am and then what, is it so special ? Are we all special to be love by someone (who see through us) because we are like we are? Well we come back to the value problem. Being special to some point will be our value, then if someone else has a better value what happen ? Alright i am losing it...

    I am not special, i want to be love for who i am, what are my chance to find someone who understand that? There will be always someone better than me, so how can that person keep loving me and my mean value? I am aware that when you are in love you actually happen to not see other people around what does that mean ? alright i stop the questions.

     I think that that not special value or having the value is not that important cause everyone is more or less the same (let's say). What would be important for me and about someone who loves me would be the amount of effort that that person is WILLING (due to some attraction, or else) to put to understand , but not evaluate. A necessary attribute of love would be that kind of attention (not based on value) but based on the understanding of the value (which would be more unique). Logically, my right answer to "why do you love me" would be because i love who you are and i want to understand it (endless job), more practically the answer would be "i don't know i have that attraction and body response when i see you that makes jump my heart so high" (which is what is physically happenning cause that person brings you what you need: love attention, value, and more).

     Actually i am not that logical in love (i guess many people dont use that approach either). I am just trying to get why do we love: "is it for the missing values?" (i know i said enough questions) is it because we feel complete with that person? because that person has so great values that you might find them in someone else ? (very possessive indeed).

     I am in love. But not like before. I used to rush and run into love like it was something so fantastic and powerfull, there was no reason to think through, take the moment, but also the person i was loving almost held my hand and took my very same direction. And now?
     Grown, hurt (we all get hurt through our experience) and for another reason i am will not say, i have to think about it. I am now to vulnerable (cause in love you want to give everything) to be exposed and above all from my experiences and others, i know the risk and pain. But when you think about love, where is it ? I know, difficult so i am reducing that thinking period, increasing the understanding of the other and the giving, should i be ready to be hurt? i guess yes, before, during and after you get the pain, so let's see.

     I am loving a person now, for who she is ( which is actually a lot cause she is close to my ideal woman ) and it happens that i am also very much interested to understand her and provide her with all happiness and love she needs from me. I also love her cause i know that she can try to understand me ( i didnt say agree -or like- with everything i say or do). When the doubts are coming (from me or her), i of course feel hurt but i i know why i love this is why it will last. I don't rely anymore on the value i am giving by the person who loves me. I would like to tend to that absolute love that comes from inside and not from outside. Like an ecosystem, species should live very well together but also with themselves.

     Growing love? So asking why i actually answer how i love. If i love by understanding someone and seeing her happiness through that it's pretty much done. I need love cause i need that person understanding, i want to understand that person, i need that comon understanding "give and take". (alright NOTICE: i will try to make my ideas more clear through mor earticle because some people could take it the wrong way, i am not reducing love to single reason or so... to be continues)

      Weak points? Yes. Now that i am growing love and not just being drive by it, i feel so weak when soemthing gets in the way. A small fight, a small misunderstanding and it's like i am not receiving the positive message i need. Since the person i love doesnt necessary love me as much as i do, if that person misunderstand me i would strangely feel useless to that person. I would ask stupid question to my self: "does that person love me or can love me enough? Why not try to understand now ? i love her so why is she doubting about it? (that's the natural reaction coming straight back to me => irrationaly i would think that love is a good excuse to forgive, understand or protect, when forgiving, understanding and protecting are now what makes my love grow, one goes wrong and it hurts).

       In Brief a whole new feeling for me. New and difficult to understand, to control, i feel like a new born child discovering the world. And just for one person i have to grow up, mature into love.

Charles